Quidditch Commentary By Luna
by VivyPotter
Summary: "Hello there, and welcome to the Quidditch match that nearly everyone's been talking about. The nargles have been excited too; they forgot to throw my socks out of the dormitory window this morning. It was rather nice, as my toes are warm now. Cosy. I quite like having warm feet. They're like toast. Maybe I'll try it more often." More of Luna's legendary Quidditch commentary.
1. Cellitones

**When I first read Luna's commentary, I knew I wanted to write more. I just never knew how hard it was to characterise Luna, especially in a long speech like this. So I tried my best, and I hope you can ignore how OOC it is.**

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><p>"Hello there, and welcome to the Quidditch match that nearly everyone's been talking about. I'm not sure what all the fuss is about: I've never been to one before. The nargles have been excited too; they forgot to throw my socks out of the dormitory window this morning. It was rather nice, as my toes are warm now. Cosy. I quite like having warm feet. They're like toast. Maybe I'll try it more often.<p>

"There are a lot of people here, aren't there? I tend to avoid people, they often laugh. I'm not sure why. I wouldn't even be here if Professor McGonagall hadn't come up to me this morning and told me I was her last hope. That sounds rather dismal, doesn't it? Last hope? I like to think there's a hope after a last hope, and that last hope is just playing a trick.

"They're kicking off now. Or at least I think they are; they may just be hopping rather high. Cellitones like it when you hop and wave your arms around. They find it soothing. And- oh look! Someones doing just that over by those giant rings! Maybe he's trying to get the Cellitones to fly through them. Cellitones are quite good fliers, you know. Very aerodynamic. I'm not sure why they're throwing balls at them though? Are they trying to hit the Cellitones? That's not very nice."

"Oh, something's happened now. I'm not sure what, but I'm certain it was very important. Things that make people gasp generally are. Like when Harry Potter does something. Lots of people gasp then. Harry Potter's my friend, you know? He's very nice to me, never laughs at all! I've heard he hops sometimes, too.

"Look over there! A nargle is flying over by that boy's head! The one in the blue scarf with the rather excellent afro. You ought to do something about that, they can be very mischievous. No, not the Ravenclaws, the nargles. Though I tend to find eagles are often involved in their practical jokes-

"What's happening over there? It looks like that boy- Tommy Baker? Bobby Marker? I'm not sure- has caught something. And he's waving above his head. Maybe he lost it. I lose things. Mostly clothes. I'm ever so forgetful- I don't even remember losing them.

"Everyone's getting up and cheering. Why are they doing that? Did they _all_ lose the shiny thing? You should take care of your things, you know. The nargles might steal them.

"Oh, is it over now?"


	2. Victory Virus

"Hello again! Apparently I was quite popular, so Professor McGonagall had to ask me again. I was even personally requested by the Headmaster! It's strange; I've never been personally requested before. I think the Headmaster is a good person to start your collection of requests with, though. A bit like chocolate frog cards.

"Ron's rather into chocolate frog collecting. He asked if I had any the other day, but I didn't. I think I might start though, and give them to Ron. He went red when I told him that, and hurried off quickly. I wonder if he had a bad case of Victory Virus? I asked him that, but he just went even redder and ran even quicker! It probably was; Victory Virus can be worsened with compliments. Or is that healed? I can't quite remember. I could have sworn Daddy told me, but I was a bit distracted by the article on mermaids in aquariums. It's a fascinating read, especially read backwards. Anyway, so if you see Ronald, be sure not to tell him anything nice. Or do. I'm not sure.

"They've already kicked off! I have been told very firmly that they are, in fact, flying, not hopping. A very tall boy from the Ravenclaw team came up and told me very angrily that he was keeping, not soothing the Cellitones. There was quite a bit of insulting, too. Maybe he thought I had Victory Virus. I don't, by the way, so if you could stop calling me freak, I'd like it very much. Loony's okay, it's a bit like a nickname. Nicknames are between friends, aren't they? A lot of people call me Loony, so I suppose I must have a lot of friends. It's nice.

"That boy just got hit by a club! I do hope he's okay. I don't know him, but I'm sure he's very nice. Quite a few people are. Like Ginny. She told me my hair looked nice yesterday! I've never been told that. I went all red. Maybe I do have Victory Virus, after all.

"That was quick. They've caught that golden things again. I _don't_ understand how they keep losing it!"


	3. Bouncing

"Hello everyone. I'm back again. I suspect I might get rather bored of this game after a while, it's not very interesting, is it? Just a lot of flying on brooms. Oh, quite a lot of people just gasped. Did Harry Potter do something? No, he's gasping too. What _happened_?

"…Apparently Quidditch is a religion. I'm sorry, I didn't know. I do try not to insult people's beliefs. It's very rude, though people tend to insult mine. Like that boy in the green robes, yelling and gesturing rather obscenely. Sorry! I didn't know! Oh dear, I hope he's not _too_ angry. Oh look, he's stopped. And now he's cheering. What a remarkable mood swing. Maybe he's a case of the Noobles, they cause _fascinating_ mood swings. Oh no, I've been told by Professor McGonagall that it was a point scored. She appears rather disappointed.

"And the numbers on the board have gone up! I was wondering what those were for- I thought maybe it was counting the number of sneezes or something. I did wonder if Slytherin had a cold.

"I've had a cold recently. It's funny: you don't miss breathing through your nose until you can't. I've always taken it for granted, and now I feel rather silly for it. Poor fish, they don't have noses. They're always breathing in water, aren't they? I tried that once, when I fell in the swamp, and it burned an awful lot. Daddy saved me though. I love my daddy. He's always saving me. I fell off the roof once, trying to catch nargles, and I bounced! It was very exciting, but I don't think I'll be doing it again.

"Oh look- I think that girl just bounced off the ground, too! Look! She's falling off the broom and- oh. No, that's not bouncing at all. Is someone going to take her to the Hospital? Good. Be careful of her arm, I don't think it's bending the right way. Not the right way at all. Maybe the nargles distracted her. They distract _me_ sometimes, when I'm at the dinner table.

"A new person's come on the field now, to replace the falling one with the funny arm. I do hope they're better at flying. And they are! Look, they've found the funny gold thing that everyone seems to want. What luck."


End file.
